Expositional Horniness
Jul. 26th, 2021 01:14 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
handful_ofdust...is one of the things that distinguishes a Ken Russell film, according to someone on my Twitter list. Along with sacrilege, of course. As I've said before, my own horniness quotient appears to have dropped into the minor numbers, along with my angriness quotient; I think this is probably good for writing scary stories, but not so great when people expect something sexy from me, or transgressive, or what-have-you. But then again, who knows? I'm not sure I ever really understood how people are "supposed" to interact with each other, anyways.
Today: Cal's camp starts. We need to make sure he can sign on from his iPad, but I'm not sure how well it's going to work out, considering that someone next door has apparently decided to install cabinets all fucking day (and smoke weed in between, but lay that by). Later in the afternoon, I have to talk to someone over Zoom in reference to [that thing I signed the NDA on]. I wonder how THAT's going to go, given the way that Cal is just basically scream-singing about how he doesn't like everything forever "and we're done done DONNNNNE, forever, with you." (The fact that it's a new guy instead of Sarah, his usual teacher, also means potential weirdness.)
Was this always this hard? I can't remember. I think probably, but it's definitely true that Cal is harder to shepherd now that he's older. I just had to remind him that he knows how to take turns, for fuck's sake; I know he's far more anxious and difficult now that he's old enough to understand that the world doesn't operate according to his rules. That's the reason he never wants to go out anymore, why he wants to stay in his room, where he can control everything. And God knows, I understand that impulse well enough.
Ugh, anyhow. It's a bit better now. And now I'll try to do my own stuff.
Today: Cal's camp starts. We need to make sure he can sign on from his iPad, but I'm not sure how well it's going to work out, considering that someone next door has apparently decided to install cabinets all fucking day (and smoke weed in between, but lay that by). Later in the afternoon, I have to talk to someone over Zoom in reference to [that thing I signed the NDA on]. I wonder how THAT's going to go, given the way that Cal is just basically scream-singing about how he doesn't like everything forever "and we're done done DONNNNNE, forever, with you." (The fact that it's a new guy instead of Sarah, his usual teacher, also means potential weirdness.)
Was this always this hard? I can't remember. I think probably, but it's definitely true that Cal is harder to shepherd now that he's older. I just had to remind him that he knows how to take turns, for fuck's sake; I know he's far more anxious and difficult now that he's old enough to understand that the world doesn't operate according to his rules. That's the reason he never wants to go out anymore, why he wants to stay in his room, where he can control everything. And God knows, I understand that impulse well enough.
Ugh, anyhow. It's a bit better now. And now I'll try to do my own stuff.
no subject
Date: 2021-07-26 06:20 pm (UTC)Oh, me too.
I've been home almost nonstop since March 2020
and the thought of venturing into the outside world even AFTER COVID does not feel appealing:
strangers scowling at me for being a fat woman using a power wheelchair;
strangers grabbing me or touching me or PATTING ME ON THE HEAD;
people on crowded footpaths waving LIT cigarettes around at eye-level for a wheelchair user
people on trains or in theatres REEKING of migraine-inducing perfume or bodyspray like Axe/Lynx/Rexona
cashiers and waitstaff being condescending/patronising just because I use a wheelchair
and so many more things that range the whole spectrum from mild irritations to colossal injustices...
no subject
Date: 2021-07-27 06:59 pm (UTC)