Interesting Discussion

[handful_ofdust]

...going on over here (http://samsykes.com/2011/01/the-chosen-jerk-jam-session-with-n-k-jemisin/). I guess I’ll just never be comfortable with the idea that we should proactively shit on a particular type of narrative trope because it’s inherently evil, and thus the people who like it (who are obviously too effin’ dumb to figure that out) are bad and should feel bad, anymore than I like any other type of received wisdom. Thankfully, though, I also don’t think I’ve been guilty of this; most of my characters are anti-heroes at best who don't think of themselves as automatically qualified to “save” much of much, plus the fact that there’s an overall lack of authority figures of any sort in my world(s) who aren’t assholes, on some level.

I mean, “[Anasazi]” is sort of a Chosen One story turned inside out--ie, this slot could have been filled by anyone, it became yours through horrible bad luck, and now everything you know and love will be destroyed because of it/you. But then again, I do write horror, so perhaps for me, the relevant trope is “Chosen Monster” instead.;)

Comments

[handful-ofdust.livejournal.com]

Stories absolutely matter. I'm just not always sure our motivations for telling ourselves these particular stories are always the same motivations some people seem to want to assign us. For example, like jihad vs. golden path, for me, the flip-side of "chosen jerk" is "changeling"--and is that a story you really want to deprive people who truly do need to tell themselves that their difference is a sword and a shield rather than a wound--that the family which rejects them isn't "really" theirs, and that people who'll respect and embrace them for who they are actually do exist out there somewhere, waiting to be found--of?

Yeah, we lie to ourselves, like we lie to others, but sometimes we also tell the truth in advance. Stories help with that, too.

[barry-king.livejournal.com]

Ah, and there has to be a Clark Kent behind that Superman, doesn't there. So yes, two thumbs up to the changeling trope. I'd like to see more changelings on the thrones.

True about motivations, but as I was coincidentally just saying to someone today, we don't often get ownership of the "you" that we have to live with, unless we want to live a really sheltered life where we don't run into conflicts with anyone else's beliefs or expectations, or get to know many people, and trying to explain your motivations is a bit of a wank-job anyway. Unless it goes to court, I think it's generally optional and the option is best honoured in the breach than the observance. All I know is that any sentence that begins "I am" is ultimately false. Of that I am certain. ;)

[handful-ofdust.livejournal.com]

While I think I get what your mother was trying to tell you, uh...no. I am the ultimate authority on me, anda s such, I will never accept or privilege someone else's impression of "who I am" over who I know myself to be. Yes, this will cause strife; already has, actually. But if people who've never met think they know me better than I know myself, all I can ever say is: They're wrong.

[barry-king.livejournal.com]

No, that's what I thought she meant at first, and I was pretty horrified that that was how she saw herself.

It took a while for me to understand that what she DID mean is that you don't get ownership over what's in people's heads, and that space between that and your own head is illusory. There is no space, because there is no point that will ever touch and there never will be.

A bit of a homemade existentialist, really.

So, by her rules, if you want ownership over that you in someone else's head, you need to treat it like the work of art that it is. It's a performance art, and until you want to take on that responsibility, you'll never be able to simply be yourself.

If you don't want to take responsibility for it, you need to let go of other people's ability to harm you with it.

Or maybe it makes more sense in Zen koan: Look and tell me the colour of your own eye.

[moon-custafer.livejournal.com]

So what she was saying was "don't be THAT guy" - in this case, that guy who always thinks you should have realized he was just kidding?

(Or, for a different example, one of our customers at work, who holds that any errors resulting from her typos are *our* fault, because we should have realized that she meant to write "1" and not "11" - after all, why would she want 11 of something?)

[barry-king.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think I get what you're saying. Don't take people's projections personally. Especially not your own.