Darmok, His Arms Open
Jul. 15th, 2009 12:49 pmGiven that I just saw kelpqueen posting on the subject, I suppose I can now speak freely about the sad fact that my friend Jason Taniguchi's mother has died, after a brief but intense trip from diagnosis to what some people now call "transition". Throughout, she and her family did everything they could to make sure that things went as smoothly as they could--tried to minimize pain of every sort, impossible a task though that certainly was/is.
Though I never knew her as well as I wanted to (and should have tried harder to rectify that situation, while I still could), I saw and continue to see her intelligence, dignity and warmth refracted through the prism of her son, who remains one of the best friends I've ever had: Humane, lovable, entertaining. The kind of guy who consistently does for others, no matter how difficult they sometimes make it for him, and genuinely gives the impression it's because he'd rather think well of people than waste time thinking (or doing) ill. And yes, I do believe we have Mrs Taniguchi to thank for that, in part--not just genetically, but through lifelong example.
One thing I do know about her is that she was fannish, and passed her love of genre on to Jason. I remember him telling me about her trying to explain her spiritual beliefs to a nice but slightly baffled counsellor who just didn't know about concepts like "the Force"; they struggled for a bit, both going through their stores of metaphors, before they could finally agree on enough terminology in order to have the necessary conversation.
"Ah," I said. "'Darmok, his arms open.'"
Jason smiled. "Yeah. Darmok."
And we both knew exactly what we meant.
These points of intersection, so few as they are, so far between. They're all that matter. They're everything.
Though I never knew her as well as I wanted to (and should have tried harder to rectify that situation, while I still could), I saw and continue to see her intelligence, dignity and warmth refracted through the prism of her son, who remains one of the best friends I've ever had: Humane, lovable, entertaining. The kind of guy who consistently does for others, no matter how difficult they sometimes make it for him, and genuinely gives the impression it's because he'd rather think well of people than waste time thinking (or doing) ill. And yes, I do believe we have Mrs Taniguchi to thank for that, in part--not just genetically, but through lifelong example.
One thing I do know about her is that she was fannish, and passed her love of genre on to Jason. I remember him telling me about her trying to explain her spiritual beliefs to a nice but slightly baffled counsellor who just didn't know about concepts like "the Force"; they struggled for a bit, both going through their stores of metaphors, before they could finally agree on enough terminology in order to have the necessary conversation.
"Ah," I said. "'Darmok, his arms open.'"
Jason smiled. "Yeah. Darmok."
And we both knew exactly what we meant.
These points of intersection, so few as they are, so far between. They're all that matter. They're everything.