Smile! No Ones Cares How You Feel

[handful_ofdust]

Well. Not as bad as I have been, but not exactly good, either. As occasionally happens, Steve apparently looked over at me asleep and thought oh, she must really NEED it, so didn’t see fit to wake me in time to get Cal up and out of here. Which is why Cal’s still at home and I won’t able to get any sort of respite today—by the time Steve was already out the door and I was halfway organized, there was just no Goddamn point in going over to Daycare at all. This is, I suppose, sweet of him, but it’s the sort of BS “thoughtfulness” I could well do without.

So here I am, sweating myself to death in this oven of an apartment, with an affectionate yet whacky little boy running wild, constantly making up to his own reflection and blundering around like a bug in a jar. I have a bunch of odds-n-sods errands to run, and I’d like—love!—to get at least a little work done before I have to go to BodyCombat tonight. Head’s still stuffy, the cough’s still here (with all its attendant glories), but I do feel more awake than I have in about a week. Pinkeye still fairly rancid. Listening to my (two!) Joker mixes, and plotting strategy. This is the state of the me.

Over Simcoe Day, Steve, Cal and I went up to the Barringers’, which meant I was able to go out into their garage and repossess a bunch of my older treatments and half-screenplays. As ever, I rediscovered at least one I had completely forgotten about—Pandaemonium, written sometime around the beginning of my Ryerson tour of duty (1986?), which conflates my love of Angel Heart and Hellblazer comics with my love of Full Metal Jacket—as well as the skeleton of Lost Face, and…hmmm. Going by stuff I’ve found on the ‘Net, both these projects are actually fairly salvagable; maybe not as “real” horror, but certainly as the type of lurid cartoon craziness which does really well for Loonie Dreadfuls, and might do really well for serialized nu-Pulp of any sort.

I wonder what it was which made me abandon them, in the first place…probably some misplaced idea that I was made for bigger and “better” things. But they’re just lying there, all ready and willing to be picked back up—free content, lines just waiting to be colored in; once I’m done with that, all I’d need would be a good delivery system. And yeah, I guess I might have a little trouble with branding, or re-branding…but then again, so Goddamn few people know me at all, for anything, I’m not all that sure it matters.

Final diagnosis: Now that the Montage piece is filed and the worst of my sickness is past, I just (as ever) need to “be up, and DOING.” And that’s the facts, Jack.

Comments

[sarcobatus.livejournal.com]

God but I envy your writing ability!

How's the novel coming along?

[handful-ofdust.livejournal.com]

Well, don't be too envious...remember, this is stuff I wrote back when I was 18 or so. Picking it back up isn't such an amazing thing, when the bulk of the work's already been done for me.;)

As for Last Things, it's still percolating. The trick is finding time and keeping to a schedule. Unfortunately, the tendency is to go with whatever comes easiest--understandable, but I make no excuses.

[agincourtgirl.livejournal.com]

Today was supposed to be an A-is-for-action day for me and at first it was - I took two boxes of Jim's cds to Amaroso to sell...then came back here, had lunch & promptly had gas/cramps/period and ended up whimpering in a hot bath and then stuck in bed all afternoon, feet on pillows, only okay now for dinner. No farmer's market, no visa application work, nada. I hope you feel better soon and get the writing you need to get done, done!

[handful-ofdust.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I feel you. I didn't even get to BodyCombat, after all that...had a nice little attack of diarrhea and a mini-migraine, instead. And I can't go five minutes without a coughing fit.