Accidentally Like a Martyr

[handful_ofdust]

Hey, all.

It's always fun when you say something to your mother which you think is true, interesting and relevant, and she just replies: "Your version of your life and the version I remember are so incredibly different. It's like you always want to tell stories about yourself that make you even more eccentric than you already are." It sort of makes you want to go: Yeah, well--YOUR version of MY life means less than nothing to me. Because...well, because it's MY life, really. Ya know?

But: "No," she says, "I mean...it's like you had such a bad time in school, being different, that you just want to embrace and accentuate that difference. To make yourself special."

And: "Oh, believe me," I said. "It's not like I think I'm special."

Still, screw it. I know what this is really about, and it's more amusing than anything else--it's about her thinking I'm dramatically and typically trying to steal attention for myself, thus taking it off the one person who really deserves it, ie Cal. So I won't be doing that again anytime soon, and by "that" I mean "telling my mother what I'm actually thinking about." Because as far as I can tell, the extraordinarily dumb decision on my part here was to ever open my damn mouth in the first place.

Having got this particular little piece of bullshit off my chest, meanwhile--

For those who may be interested, Burning Effigy is having an official Fall 2007 launch party for me and Adebe D.A., their other most recent chapbook author. We'll both be reading, along with a live band (High Heels Lo Fi) and two guests (Jeff Cottrill and Cynthia Gould). Location: Renaissance Cafe, 1938 Danforth Ave, Toronto. Time: Saturday, November 24, 8:00 PM. FREE. Love to see any and/or all of you there.

I myself may be a bit late, because my best friend Lena Friesen (agincourtgirl) is using the first half of the same day to become Mrs Marcello Carlin. I'll be reading from Corinthians during the service, and wishing her every possible happiness. Yes, it'll be more than a little hard to wave goodbye as she makes her way off to the U.K., where she and Mr Carlin will be spending their (no doubt) years of wedded bliss together--after all, we've known each other since university, some nineteen years ago--but good for her! And them! Love should be respected wherever it can be recognized, and hers shines like a beacon.

Stuff done otherwise: Spent some time daydreaming about writing the ultimate Young Warren Zevon BackBeat-style biopic (thus the header); dubbed three CDs, probably all ones I'm using as the end-of-year mixes; Cal's social worker came over to discuss options; Cal continues to not make friends with sleep. No writing of my own whatsoever, naturally.;)

Comments

[agincourtgirl.livejournal.com]

Aw, thanks! I won't be going off to the U.K. until earlyish next year, so don't worry about that.

A Warren Zevon biopic would be interesting! There's nothing preventing you from daydreaming during the strike, at least (I hope it's over soon, for everyone's sake)...

[strange.livejournal.com]

I learned long ago that conversing with my parents about my life - which they don't understand in any way, shape or form - was a bad idea. We get on much better now that I leave out the details.