Oh Me My Mine
Aug. 12th, 2021 01:41 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
handful_ofdustYesterday I found myself in the weird position of having people post really nice things about my writing, mostly on Facebook, while simultaneously struggling to slap two words together, over and over again. This isn't a "new" thing, per se; I've been struggling with it my whole life. But I feel as if these days, my ability to do twenty things at the same time effectively is becoming super-limited, just as the world increasingly demands I interact with it in that exact way. Virtual everything. I get it, and usually I enjoy it, but more as an adjunct to my IRL. But right now I feel as if my "RL" is interfering with my virtual life, to the point where I feel bad about doing anything that doesn't take place online, or involve my computer.
Today's the first day of Readercon 31, which is all virtual. Can't figure out how to get into Discord. Meanwhile, I'm divided in my attention because Cal is doing his class right next to me. They're going over scripts from The Lion King and he doesn't want to do any, probably because they involve talking rather than singing. So I'm prompting him, trying to read what he he wants and supply him with the words to ask for it. And meanwhile I'm also thinking about this fucking story I still haven't broken the back of, the one I supposedly owe someone very important, except for the fact that I'm really not sure if they even want it anymore because it's taking so fucking long.
I used to be a machine. I want to be a machine again: Get possessed, bang it out, don't worry about the result, file and forget, etc. Goddamnit.
Hm, well: I'm in now, looks like. Not sure what to do now.
Today's the first day of Readercon 31, which is all virtual. Can't figure out how to get into Discord. Meanwhile, I'm divided in my attention because Cal is doing his class right next to me. They're going over scripts from The Lion King and he doesn't want to do any, probably because they involve talking rather than singing. So I'm prompting him, trying to read what he he wants and supply him with the words to ask for it. And meanwhile I'm also thinking about this fucking story I still haven't broken the back of, the one I supposedly owe someone very important, except for the fact that I'm really not sure if they even want it anymore because it's taking so fucking long.
I used to be a machine. I want to be a machine again: Get possessed, bang it out, don't worry about the result, file and forget, etc. Goddamnit.
Hm, well: I'm in now, looks like. Not sure what to do now.
