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Two Days Already
Jul. 19th, 2009 09:47 pmWe were invited to the actual service, but since we couldn't find anyone to park Cal with on short notice, we ended up going to the visitation instead. It was, in the final analysis, about as hard as one might expect, yet also far less hard; strangely joyous, in many ways. We sat in the corners and talked like it was any other party Mrs Taniguchi had hosted, saw people we hadn't seen in years, hugged each other and told each other soft, sympathetic things. Alex and Barb were there, and I barely noticed; Hope said awkwardly nice stuff to me about Cal (who was surprisingly good, and "on", the entire time. For example, after running into an adjacent room to spin for a while, he said "I found a chair!", sat down on it, said: "Sit down. Stand up. Sit down. Stand up. Okay, everybody, that's all for now, bye-bye!"). It was as though all the various hurts and slights had dropped away, because we weren't there for ourselves, and really, what would be the point in pursuing any of our old vendettas? No point. None at all.
There were bad moments, of course--I recall a point where I realized that what was playing in the background was the organ solo from "House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals, thought: "But why...?", followed by: "...because she must have really liked it." And then started to sob, right there--squatting in front of Cal in his stroller, trying to put his shoes back on. Again, why? I don't know. I don't know.
Later, Steve and I dropped Cal off at Mom's and went to see the latest Harry Potter, which is a fine entry in the series. Very beautifully shot, and Tom Felton does his best to make Draco's internal struggles interesting. I had the added benefit of remembering so little about the book that entire subplots came as nice little surprises, if not great ones; yet again, I'm happy I never got invested in this particular narrative, or blythe omissions like the utter absence of exactly why the "Half-Blood Prince" chose his pseudonym might annoy me. As it is, it simply slipped by me, dark and stately, a mist-shrouded processional from a world I will never share. Went in at 8:00 PM, came out at quarter to eleven, went home, watched The Scorprion King on Space. Did chores. Went to bed.
And so it goes: On and on. On, and on, and on.
I got a good idea for one of the book's climactic chapters today. Hope I can do some genuine writing tomorrow.
There were bad moments, of course--I recall a point where I realized that what was playing in the background was the organ solo from "House of the Rising Sun" by the Animals, thought: "But why...?", followed by: "...because she must have really liked it." And then started to sob, right there--squatting in front of Cal in his stroller, trying to put his shoes back on. Again, why? I don't know. I don't know.
Later, Steve and I dropped Cal off at Mom's and went to see the latest Harry Potter, which is a fine entry in the series. Very beautifully shot, and Tom Felton does his best to make Draco's internal struggles interesting. I had the added benefit of remembering so little about the book that entire subplots came as nice little surprises, if not great ones; yet again, I'm happy I never got invested in this particular narrative, or blythe omissions like the utter absence of exactly why the "Half-Blood Prince" chose his pseudonym might annoy me. As it is, it simply slipped by me, dark and stately, a mist-shrouded processional from a world I will never share. Went in at 8:00 PM, came out at quarter to eleven, went home, watched The Scorprion King on Space. Did chores. Went to bed.
And so it goes: On and on. On, and on, and on.
I got a good idea for one of the book's climactic chapters today. Hope I can do some genuine writing tomorrow.
