Motherhood, et al

This morning my mother-in-law called to say she was coming to enthuse over Cal and clean my bathroom. A minute or so later, in the second I looked away to hit "send" on an e-mail, Cal managed to throw himself headfirst off the bed and wedge himself diaper-up between the mattress and the "bedside table" (actually a chest of drawers full of audiotapes with a desklamp that doesn't work stuck on top of it). It was like some impromptu vision out of Dante, or maybe Big Trouble in Little China: "Hell of the upside-down, red-faced, screaming babies!"
So I pull him out, by his ankles. There's blood all over his nose, which he's scraped on the mattress-frame; he's got the baby monitor cord wound around his leg, and he's SHRIEKING. It then takes him four hours to settle down far enough that he finally lapses into the sort of drunken post-trauma sleep he's in right now, Gran's cooing aside. And God Almighty, I truly do begin to believe that the rest of his childhood will be constant struggle to keep this little boy from killing himself before he goes to kindergarten.
At any rate. I was thinking of maybe putting up a few snips in honor of this whole "Panfandom Smut Wednesdays" thing...I first heard of it through geneticallydead...but first off, it's almost not Wednesday anymore, and second, I'm still getting over the shock. Not to mention that only one of them would probably be OZ, and it's not like anyone would bother to read the rest.;)
Ah: The Kraken wakes, howling. I'm gone.